When Porter Came to Arkham

by The Arkham Hillbilly

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Porter Wagoner was a mainstay of the Grand Ole Opry. Here's what happened when he came to Lovecraft country.

lyrics

A gibbous moon was shining on the old New England square
As people flocked out to the Miskatonic County Fair
We wore our go-to-meeting suit, the gals wore their best gown
The night that Porter Wagoner came to Arkham Town

Charlie Ward was sitting fine right there in the front row
Joseph Curwen kicked him out so he could see the show
Someone yelled, “Where’s Dolly?” and we knocked that rascal down
The night that Porter Wagoner came to Arkham Town

When Porter came to Arkham with his rhinestones and his smile
He made the Old Ones feel young for just a ilttle while
Nyarlothotep clapped in time to every single song
And even old Cthulhu sang along

The wagon wheels were flashing on his purple Nudie suit
His boots were red and turquoise, man, they really were a hoot
His hair was standing tall just like a shiny silver crown
The night that Porter Wagoner came to Arkham Town

The Gardners were glowin’ like the colour from the well
The Whately twins was two-steppin’ with something I can’t spell
Zadok Allen drank so much we thought that he might drown
The night that Porter Wagoner came to Arkham Town

He sang about the hard times and we knew just what he meant
We cried out loud about the Carroll Country Accident
He brought the Grand Ole Opry to this shadow-haunted land
And afterwards I got to shake his hand

Sometimes I dream of Dagon in his underwater lair
Or shoggoths who might eat us all, but I don’t even care
I just recall that night, and they can never make me frown
The night that Porter Wagoner came to Arkham Town
As long as I recall that night they’ll never bring me down
The night that Porter Wagoner came to Arkham Town

credits

released October 1, 2022
The Arkham Hillbilly - vocals and acoustic guitar
Martin Wheatley - electric and steel guitars
Leroy - backing vocals
Colonel Hartley - bass and production

Lyrics and music (C) 2020 Darcy Sullivan

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The Arkham Hillbilly image

The Arkham Hillbilly London, UK

Straight outta the Miskatonic Valley, I travel the west with my six-string in one hand and the Necronomicon in the other. With my band The Nashville Shamblers, I sing eldritch country songs. Official Member - Grand Ole Ones Opry!

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